alot of things happened over the weekends, or rather yesterday and today. so much so that i dunno where to start from. haha, it's a good thing that i can still laugh.

i just invited trouble by posting the previous post (points below) and putting my blog link on my msn nick. lol, i dunno it's heng or suay and 'trouble' came. it dampens my mood completely, and killed my appetite completely. i cursed and sweared at city hall like nobody's business. and today's tension in class was horrible. alot of unhappiness, anger everywhere and anywhere. and it all started from one person. not me ok. i hope everything is settled, and all unhappiness are cleared.

and this is a reply to your sms.

i didnt even wish for a second chance, i didnt even hope for a second chance nor am i pleaing you to come back to me. i just want to tell you, i'm giving you up totally and completely. if using the excuse of 'our relationship wont work cos we have diff expectations of a r/s' to cover up the fact that your feelings have changed will make you feel better, will make you sound like a nicer man, so be it. if hurting me at the expense of your happiness doesnt matter to you at all, so be it. if you havent realise, but everything you said to me, yh and maybe fy(i not sure) on sunday are nothing but just adding on to the pain to me. cos all i can see is how protective you are to her and how ignorant you are to my feelings. how you dont even care how i feel. how you dont even care if im going to die this very moment (dont worry, i wont die for you) it's like taking a knife, and stabbing me in my unhealed wounds all over again. if you are so numb to other people's feelings and you only care about your own happiness, i think you should go learn to be a better man. i'm not blaming you, nor am i going to hate you to core, i will treat like normal. like nothing happened before and you are just my classmate. thats all. and you should start think of all the things you've done. stop pushing the blame to the others, there are times you are wrong too, isnt it. and this whole thing you cant blame her and her either. they are merely writing what they sees. now things have officially ended, between you and me. you are free to do whatever you like. no one is stopping you from doing anything. take care my dear, i will treat you as per normal, as a classmate of mine. if you are unhappy with what i've just said or you think i've misunderstand you comepletely, come find me. i love troubles(:


as for now, i will try my best to forget him, forget everything. in the meantime, it will continue to hurt until i completely forgets him. but all these pain will only make me grow stronger. i believe i will be back very soon(: he's just yet another guy whom i met, i thought you are different but im so fucking wrong.


and thanks to people out there who really cared, my girls( shuhan, vanessa, andrea and michelle), joey ng, S18 people who tagged on my board (kax, marc, allyssa and so on), jiehui, ah beng, siyuan, vincent, roy, suz, sp, yh, fy. thanks man, i'm getting out of this shit. i cant believe i'm so blind and so dumb. i'm living a brand new life(:


and on this note, im ending everything. my love for you, my care for you, my worries for you, everything that concerns you. im ending it with this blog(: im closing down this place. i will set up a new blog if im not lazy. so people who are close to me, ask me for the new link(:(:

and i wish you happiness(:

(Edited)
one random thought and one last question before everything ends. how can you bear to do this to me, do i mean so little in your eyes.


let those tears flow one last time, and this is really the last time. it's not easy, but i will get over it.


it's over.
in a relationship it doesnt matter who's right, but who left. i believe that in a relationship there's no right and wrong. it doesnt matter if the feelings have fade, it doesnt matter if you've changed or not , it doesnt matter why and what happened. cos end of the day, does it really make any difference. the trust is gone. i should try looking at things from the other side, from any point of view. or rather imagine myself in that situation. things just get so much clearer.


i stopped hoping, stopped waiting for another glimpse of hope, stopped waiting for a second chance. not because my feelings are gone, but because i found something more meaningful to focus on. not another guy. so it really doesnt matter anymore. im too tired to continue to reach for something which keeps slipping by.


time will show, if we are running in circles. if we are, then we'll meet someday. if not, at least we have those memories to stay.


for now, let us be. do whatever you like, as long as you are happy. i will be somewhere near you.


im tired, my dear.
TILL WE MEET(: